me, about to get mauled to death by a wolf: puppy! who's a handsome puppy
Parent: what does a cow say?
Baby: "moo!"
Parent: yes! And what does a sheep say?
Baby: "baah!"
Parent: yay! And what does a pig say?
Baby: *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"
Words are so pretty but they can cut deeper than any knife

humoristics:

A guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.

Most beautiful and delicious sushi ever!
Beauty and the Beast roll from Mt. Fuji

fucking0utrageous:

peniscruncher:

dusknoirs:

who was the asshole that decided tattoos looked unprofessional 

the generation that did is dying out so don’t worry

I actually think about this often

my-astral-body:

coffeeshine:

blueeyedmenace:

The walking dead// Rick Grimes dad jokes

I SHOULDN’T LAUGH AT THIS BUT OH LAWD

this is the post that has cheered me up LMAO

takumiwarrior:

bokken 

There’s a reason she’s my best friend

New job!

New job is awesome. I do inventory.
My bosses rock. They’re huge nerds! One showed up in a batman t-shirt to interview me for the job.
So all in all:
Job: awesome
Being away from home for four days out of the week: awesome
Getting ~250 dollars a week: FAB
Getting paid EVERY week: fucking awesome
Training: not horrid
Waking up at 3AM: not ideal but hey
12 hour work days: not as bad as it sounds
Doing a 12hr on the job training work day while losing so much blood, cramping to the max and have a headache?
Now THAT kinda sucks.

jaclcfrost:

"how are you doing?"

[makes several vague hand gestures and various noises rather than giving an actual answer]

frequentingfandoms:

worldwarbutts:

kuzannagi:

TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAIN

ting

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